Top 5 Frequently Asked Questions (& Answers!) About Family Meal Time - Part 2/2

 So you have looked at the Division of Responsibility and you are even trying it with your kiddies... You are feeding your children predictably (every 2-3 hours), at the table with all electronics off/toys and homework away; you are choosing what they should eat; and you are allowing them to decide if they will eat and how much they will eat. That is a great start to helping your children become competent eaters!  

Now, let’s discuss the Top 5 Questions I typically get asked by parents.  

1. How do I deal with my picky eater? It is always frustrating feeding a family when you have one child who likes one food and another child who hates that food. And of course, there are you as the parents who have preferences, likes and dislikes as well! The secret is to make sure that there is AT LEAST ONE FOOD on the table that everyone will eat. It might be bread, or a fruit, or rice or chicken or yogurt, etc. (So, you know no one will starve!). Now, put all the food you are going to offer on the table, and let your child(ren) eat as much or as little of WHAT IS ON THE TABLE. Your child may only eat rice for that meal. That is ok.  

2. How do I introduce new foods? It can take UP TO 20 TIMES of introducing a new food before a child (of any age) will eat it. Never force a child to eat a food. And never, absolutely never, force food into a child’s mouth. This will cause a very negative association with that food specifically, or food in general - something you don’t want to have to deal with. (Seriously, you don’t want that). Focus on regularly exposing your child to this new food (e.g. fish) – they will smell it, see it, see others eating it. You might put it on their plate and ask them to put it back if they don’t want it - leading them to touch it. By exposure and using their senses, they will usually warm up to new foods. The best way to introduce a new food is to pair it with a familiar (and well liked) food; and remember, regular exposure.  

3. How do I deal with “Eew. I don’t want ____. I want _____.” ? The short answer? Don’t cater to it. Avoid making special meals for someone in the family (this does not include allergies, although trying to get the whole family to eat the same food is very beneficial). When your little one throws a tantrum because he doesn’t want fish, he wants Mac and Cheese – fight the urge to give in. This is a great opportunity to teach your child that mom or dad (or whoever) worked very hard to provide that meal, and that your child needs to be thankful for what he was offered. Tell him that he may eat as much or as little as he would like from what is offered but nothing different will be made for him.  

4. How do we handle DESSERT at a meal? If you want to offer dessert at a meal, ensure that each person gets only 1 piece. Allow each person to eat their piece whenever they want during the meal. They do not need to finish their plate to eat dessert. (this would go against the division of responsibility).  

5. How do we handle less healthy food at snack time? If you choose to offer a less healthy food for a snack (e.g. cookies or cake or chips), allow your child to eat as much as she wants (or is available), at the table with no distractions/TV/games/homework. She will eat until she is satisfied and then get bored and want to go play. As soon as she is done eating and leaves the table the food/junk food goes away.    

Final thoughts.... • NEVER USE FOOD AS BRIBERY. This just teaches children that there is good food (junk) and bad food (vegetables). This will not work in the long run, and can cause more issues down the road. • Make meal times a happy time where you talk to your kids and find out about their day’s experiences. Not where you are fighting with them to finish their plates. • Be good role model. Kids are smart. “Monkey see, Monkey do”. If you make vegetables for the kids and then eat junk food, they will eventually follow suit. If you are eating well, they will want to eat well too.  

Eliana is available for in-person dietary consultations or Skype consultations. Come meet Eliana & hear her speak about Starting Solids & Baby-Led Feeding on May 3rd at 10am. A few spots are still available in this workshop. Please Register Online or contact us via phone: 416.972.9367 or email: info@fifty-seven.ca

Family Meal Time - Part 1

There are some crazy emotions that come with being a parent. I have experienced many of them first hand this past year with my little 11 month old daughter.  A major one I would like to discuss is WORRY.  Parents worry that their child is not warm enough, dressed well enough, sleeping properly, eating or drinking enough, eating or drinking too much... and on and on the list goes!

When it comes to food, I know as a parent I just want my little girl to grow the way she was meant to grow, to be healthy.  I want her to eat enough, but not too much.  And trying to find this balance can lead parents to dictate how much little ones should eat.  The issue with this approach is that we don’t know how much our little ones need.  Everyone has a different metabolism.  Also, if I dictate how much my preschooler needs to eat, she will never learn to listen to her body.  What will she do when she is older and I’m not there to tell her how much to eat?  On top of that, every meal (and I mean EVERY MEAL) will be a battle between parent and child over how much to eat, what to eat, finishing vegetables before dessert, etc.  NO FUN!  This is not a table of which I would like to be in attendance meal after meal, day after day!  Especially when food intake is the one thing over which a preschooler has control!!!

So how can we raise our children to be competent eaters without fighting about it at every meal?  How can we make meal times pleasant and enjoyable, a time for relationship building rather than arguments over broccoli.

First, let’s define a COMPETENT EATER... That means that a child listens to his body and stops when he has eaten enough, when he is full. According to Internationally renowned Pediatric Dietitian Ellyn Satter, there is a division of responsibility between parents and infants/children/teenagers when it comes to feeding and meal times. Ellyn Satter Institute

Here is the general premise: 

When your child is fed regularly and predictably (with no grazing in between meals/snacks), she will be able to determine for herself how much she needs to eat.  Your child will also eat better when she eats with family (family meal is defined as at least one parent and at least one child eating together).  Research has found that family meals are associated with better eating (quality of meals) and good eating patterns and may positively influence such things as disordered eating behaviours, mental health and substance abuse substance abuse.

Division of Responsibility

PARENTS are responsible for:

• WHAT is offered: family foods.  You as mom and dad get to pick what your child will be offered each meal.   Be sure to include at least one thing that everyone at the table will eat (e.g. yogurt, or bread, or salad).
• WHERE children eat: at the table.  TV/video games/Ipad/Ipod/ etc OFF.  Homework away.  No distractions.
• WHEN they are fed: every 2-3 hours.  Yes, that’s right.  2-3 hours.  Sounds like a lot, but children have tiny tummies and need to be fed regularly.  In between meals, only water.  No juice or milk or cookies, or candies, etc.

CHILDREN are responsible for:

• IF THEY WILL EAT.  Sometimes they choose not to. DO NOT FORCE OR ENCOURAGE your child to eat more of a specific food.  Let them explore it and slowly grow to like a food.
• HOW MUCH they will eat.  Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. NEVER force a child to eat, and NEVER NEVER NEVER force food into a child’s mouth.

You might be a little bit skeptical about this approach.  I have used this approach in my paediatric clinics with my kiddies who are picky eaters, my kiddies who need to gain more weight, my kiddies who are bigger.  It works for EVERYONE in the family.  Follow the division of responsibility and stop worrying about who ate their veggies.

Stay Tuned for Part 2...  Putting it all together...

Come meet Eliana & hear her speak about Feeding Your Family, this Wednesday March 19th at 10am. A few spots are still available in this workshop. Please Register Online or contact us via phone: 416.972.9367 or email: info@fifty-seven.ca